I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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