Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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