Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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