she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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