i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
