The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
