About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
