He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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