You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
