dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
i dont even know how to be here
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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