I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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