I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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