My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize