We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
