I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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