dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
