I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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