don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
