i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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