Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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