her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
