I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
