Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize