I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Houston, we have a blender
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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