I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my shit smells like andre
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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