i permit you to call me
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
