I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How does one acquire holy water?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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