you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
