this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
