I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i now understand why vodka
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
