She's JV to your varsity
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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