A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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