She went from zero to smokin in five shots
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
