The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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