talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
