Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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