i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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