I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
soo... how was my night?
I'm always down for nudity.
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