i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
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I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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