we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Come share oat with me in your robe
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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