i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you win again, gameday.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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