In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
