Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
