Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
