You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
NoShamevember. You game?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
