Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
