jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A bitchslap is in order.
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