And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
