We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
