he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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