so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
