Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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