Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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