It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
