I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
