you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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