no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
