Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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