so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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