I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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