this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
God, you're like boner-b-gone
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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